Dear Self,

I am writing to let you know how sorry I am for all the things I did to you, said to you and about you in the past. I now know I was wrong. I was wrong to eat so much processed, high-calorie, sugar laden food with no nutritional value. I didn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me you could not handle this unhealthy lifestyle. I blamed you when you gained weight, I thought you were ugly and that you were letting me down. I quit looking at you and listening to you. I quit loving you. I know that I abused you terribly, both physically and emotionally. I did not give you the nutrients you needed, or the exercise you craved. I did not feed your mind or your soul. I ignored you as much as possible and was annoyed when you became ill and required regular prescription medications to keep functioning. I was angry that you wouldn’t lose the weight and that you kept me in the house and prevented me from socializing because you embarrassed me. I felt that I could not take you out in public, I didn’t trust you and didn’t appreciate you. I really hated you, I thought you were fat, ugly, stupid and unwell. I didn’t know how much longer we could go on together.

Through all this abuse and all the bad times you were always there, you always managed to heal, respond to medications, and take me through the next event. You were always willing to try the next diet. You never gave up on me. When we finally got it right and lost the weight you gave 150%, for every pound we lost you got healthier and healthier. This was so awesome. You even managed to cure yourself of illnesses that we had always been told were hereditary, the high blood pressure and high cholesterol even the sleep apnea. If this wasn’t enough, you not only tolerated the craziness of me starting to work out and run, you actually thrived on it. You got stronger and stronger. Each step of this health and wellness journey you have given more than I ever thought possible. You have taught me so many things. That I am a spiritual being with my own set of beliefs and my own strong foundation. I am an athlete and can achieve anything that I set my mind to. I am not afraid to try new things and push myself to new accomplishments, like: stand up paddle boarding in Charleston, SC; flying in a bush plane, taking a helicopter to a glacier and ziplining in Alaska; and skydiving in New York. I have biked and swam, danced and met the most interesting and incredible people.

I want you to know how proud I am of you and how much I love you. I love the way you look and how you feel and think. I love your curly hair, brown eyes and skinny ankles. I love learning more things about you every single day. I love listening to you. I am in awe of the way you work and heal yourself of how you are always willing to try new things and learn new things. I promise you that I will continue to treat you with the utmost respect. I will respect your boundaries and limitations. I will feed you the best quality food to nourish you and water to hydrate you, and will continue to exercise. I will continue the deep tissue therapy that while painful is bringing even more life and vitality. I will continue to seek spiritual knowledge, I will meditate daily. I will continue to surround us with positive, life affirming people. I will run a 5K and complete a triathlon. I will create beauty everyday. I will always put your needs first and not feel guilty about it. I will always push you to be better and to take chances and accept challenges. I will always strive to be kinder, gentler, healthier, stronger, smarter, more enlightened, more loving and more loveable. I will continue to tell our story in the hope of inspiring other people to make positive changes in their lives so they can have the kind of relationship and life we have.

Thank you for never giving up on me, for always loving me and doing the best job you were capable of doing no matter how I treated you. We are here today because of how awesome you are. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner,  I wasted so much time on negative thoughts and actions and I promise I won’t forget where we’ve been and I’ll never let it happen again.

Love always,

Me

Written by Julia Price