Self Love Definition
According to Dictionary.com the definition of self love is regard for one’s (your) own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic). Self love is not selfish so don’t feel bad about saying “No” sometimes. Never feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Know your self-worth. We set the bar for how other people treat us. If you can’t come first for yourself you won’t come first for anyone else.
99% of the population backs away from confrontation. The problem is not usually the problem but how we view it or the person we are in conflict with. Every relationship has disagreements. Disagreements are opportunities to learn more about each other. That’s how relationships grow. If you say it with love and they still take what you said the wrong way don’t concern yourself with what they understand. Everyone has a different filter they see the world through. If you give them some time they might think about it and understand where you are coming from later. If they throw a tantrum don’t add to the fire.
When we don’t express ourselves we create riffs in relationships and keep unhealthy relationships. I’ve made the mistake many times of loving a damaged soul and trying to nurse them back to health. Only to find the relationship ending with me feeling completely drained from running the relationship. I was the only one putting effort in. Once I took time to love myself I became comfortable saying NO to men who wanted me to put them first.
It’s important to practice self-love so we don’t burn out and become emotionally, physically or mentally drained. Negative thoughts or emotions have negative frequencies that can cause stress and inflammation in the body. This leads to damaged muscles, organs, tendons, and ligaments.
How to practice self love and acceptance.
- Imagine you’re your best friend. Would you allow someone to say the things you think about yourself to your best friend? What would you tell yourself right now if you were your best friend? Say those compliments in the mirror.
- What I Like About You. Create a list of reasons other people like you. Ask for two traits from people you are closest to.
- Rather than focusing on thoughts, check in with your emotions. Sit silently and name what you feel.
- Write out your thoughts so you can understand where the emotions are coming from. When you remove the emotions you can better decide your next move.
- Write your negative thoughts then toss or burn them.
- Set a time during the day to unplug from the world and truly enjoy what you are doing. We are too focused on instant messaging people back a response and quickly receiving one. Take time to enjoy not multitasking for a moment. Studies show we burn away our productivity continuously multitasking.I recommend taking this time for yourself in the morning. The moment you wake up is when you are most productive. Don’t waste your productive time checking Facebook, emails, etc.
- When you practice your I Am’s in the morning say I am loved.
- Inhale peppermint oil. It suppresses food cravings and boosts your mood.
- Practice yoga breathing. Breath in through your nose 1-2-3-4. Hold for 4. Breath out through your mouth 1-2-3-4.
- Practice saying No.
- Relax without feeling bad about it. You are not invincible. Take time for you.
- Make decisions. Don’t let others choose the plans for every time you hang out. Do something you both enjoy.
- Tell others how you feel= releasing yourself from holding a grudge. As the old saying goes resentment only hurts us, not the person we hate. Take a breath before expressing what you want to say. People are more willing to listen to us speak when our concerns come from a place of love rather than anger. Say what you need to say as soon as possible before it bottles up and ferments into something it is not. Negative thoughts aren’t like wine, they don’t age well with time. They’re more like vinegar.
- Have an opinion. If you don’t agree with what someone says or their actions speak freely. No one needs fake relationships based off unreal similar qualities or opinions.
- Ask for help. Outsource some of your tasks so you don’t burn out. What do you really need to get done that someone else can do?
- Take yourself on a date or buy yourself flowers. You don’t need a man or woman in your life to treat you right.
- For days when you feel down- Have a list ready to go for you to read with all of your accomplishments. You can reference this list too when you feel stuck and feel like you can’t succeed.
- When people react poorly to your opinion try to see it from their perspective. We all have a different filter we see the world through with different experiences. You are not responsible for what life has dealt them. Don’t take it personally. The problem is often not the problem but the emotions or attitude we allow to create more tension
Loving yourself benefits you and others. Tell us how you love yourself.
Other Self Love Blogs you can check out.
Feature image via Mindfulness at Work